Get To Know Thyself: Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

A story that begins in a very (un)usual way: Liz has the perfect life – a beautiful house, a good career and a decent husband. But Elizabeth doesn’t want children. She doesn’t. And she tears herself apart for not wanting them. When so many people want children, when so many women are trying to get pregnant. Everyone should want to have children, should’t they? Especially when all other requirements are there. What exactly is her problem?!

After a grueling divorce, which took her nerves and health, the author takes another step to dig a hole for herself. She begins a relationship with David, the nicest guy on earth… The man she cannot be with. Confused and on antidepressants, Elizabeth decides to embark on a spiritual journey. And when she rashly decides to run away, she doesn’t understand that people often do not realise that they cannot escape from themselves. That same moods wait for them them wherever they go – in India or in Bali.

And that’s about the whole plot of the book.

I have to confess that this book somehow always annoyed me, perhaps because in Serbian, the title of the book stupidly rhymes and takes away the charm of its original name. That’s why I read it in English. So I could understand it better. And I mean – memoirs of a 30 (something) year old who embarks on a spiritual journey… Yawn – boring! In everyday sea of “smart” quotations (from Chinese proverbs to Kanye West), spiritual journey seemed to me so excessive.

Why is it then, that this book in which nothing (much) happens has million sales and an audience that grows every day? Not to mention that the book is really interesting and somehow holds your attention… Well, it looks like Elizabeth Gilbert succeeded to answer the questions such as how to find the perfect job, get your desired look, merry a nice guy and overall make your life perfect. And the answer is the same for everybody and absurdly logical – be happy with yourself.

And there’s a catch. Spiritual journey… Is there anything more important than that?! Nowadays, anyone who finds time for something like this has to be a superman! Or a millionaire. Because is there anything more important than to find yourself, to love yourself, to appreciate yourself? Because every other thing is just forgetting yourself. That’s why Liz doesn’t want children, that’s why everything in her soul protested. Hey, your whole life you’ve been hiding from me (yourself), your whole life you were trying to look like others and to make someone else be the answer to every question! What do YOU like? What is nice for YOU? It’s not selfishness, but sincere love of thyself. Learn to love. Learn to always be there for yourself.

Many people had objections, as Liz like a true hmm, let’s say American, had a sufficient fund to embark on a spiritual journey for one year. To eat her brains off in Italy, to rise in meditation in India and to party in Bali. However, yes, it might seem easier to talk about the spiritual journey in the middle of Rome, but let’s not forget that during this time she also wrote this book. And that these are just excuses all over again: anyone can go on a journey with the money she had. Yes, but anyone can go on a spiritual journey without anything. Anyone can get to know themselves if they really want to. Anyone can reconsider their decisions. All it takes is just a little… Will. Courage. Time. For yourself.

And every day, where you can’t wait for the weekends and you are always sick and tired of Monday, where coffee is the only true friend and alcohol is the only answer, it seems so simple to go the easier way with no resistance. It is so much easier to watch TV after work in order to “rest” rather than to sit down and learn a foreign language. It is much easier to eat chocolate souffle than do a series of squats. It is much easier for others to say how easy it is for others (because they have cash, good looks, good fortune) than to do something for yourself. And – is it really easier? Is it easier to justify yourself in front of others, and lie down every night dissatisfied with yourself? Because if you are looking for excuses why you don’t have 15 minutes a day for yourself, you will always find them.

Gilbert, at her own luck, realised on time that everything she asks for – is right there inside of her. And where is your answer? And how hard it is for you to do something ONLY for your own selflove?

Moreover, I have boundary issues with men. Or maybe that’s not fair to say. One must have boundaries in the first place, right? But I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dog’s money, my dog’s time – everything. If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else.

Think of it this way—if you’d had ten serious traffic accidents in a row, wouldn’t they eventually take your driver’s license away? Wouldn’t you kind of want them to?